The body's metabolic rate decreases during sleep thus reducing the rate of breathing. So the amount of O2 consumed and CO2 exhaled is less, which means less greenhouse gases and a cleaner environment. We, the students of Mech 5 urge you all to try out this simple technique demonstrated above, and do your bit to fight global warming.
SOME KOOL THOUGHTS IN FORM OF SHORT STORIES AND LETTERS.................
1)
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where
a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the
entrance is a description of how the store operates.
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch .... You may
choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a
floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are
extremely good looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to
the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-
dead good looking and help with the housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she
goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-
dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic
streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the
sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012,890 to this floor. There are no men
on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are
impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
2)
A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy,
> Dear Tech Support ,
>
> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .
>
> In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
> Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such asNEWS 5.0,MONEY 3.0and CRICKET 4.1 .
>
> Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system.
>
> Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
>
> What can I do?
>
> Signed,
>
> Desperate Woman
> ************ ********* ********* ******
>
> DEAR DESPERATE Madam,
>
> First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
>
> Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
> If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
>
> However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 , Pornography 7.0 or Beer 6.1 .
>
> Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law
> 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize
> control of all your system resources.)
>
> In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program . These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .
>
> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
> You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
> We recommend:Cooking 3.0 andHot Looks 7.7.
>
> Good Luck
> For more details contact to,
>Technical support Guy
3)
Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects
Husband and wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is the liver and the wife is the kidney.
If the liver fails, the kidney fails.
If the kidney fails ..........
the liver manages with other kidney !! ---------------------------------------------------------------
------------------
What's the difference between
Drug and Wine ?
Drug is like a girlfriend that comes
with an expiry date.
Wine is like a wife,
The older it gets, longer the chatter !
------------------------------------------------------------ The Japanese have produced a camera
that has such .. such a fast shutter speed that............
it is capable of taking a picture of a woman
with her mouth shut!!!
AND FINALLY ...........................
Generation Next Motto: Neither will I marry
Nor will I allow my children to marry !!
Location : Chulk's table, Placement office, 2nd floor Status : last minute submission time. Lots of 3rd years around, me the only 2nd yr. Chulk is in the process of checking the many journals lying on his table.
Chulk( 'l' silent) : OK, all of you, come here and stand in a line.Arey wahan kahan jaa rahe ho, idhar aao. Come here.( licks fingers and starts turning pages of the journal in hand)
(still doing the same...)
Chulk : arey arey, kai re hey?( glances on cover)kaun hai ye?Shankar. eh Shankar kidhar hai re? usko bulao zara idhar!
Shankar! Shankar! (They take 2 minutes to locate shankar who's in the same room, then 2 more fore him to realize he's been called. Finally at chulk's table)
Shankar : Yes si-
Chulk : Idhar aao re. Ye dekho.(turns the page so that he can't actually dekho)See this. This diagram. Iska kidhar likha hai? Next page pe. What is this?
Shankar : Sir I did all the diagrams together and then-
Chulk : Arey aisa nahin chalega. This will not do. Ye diagram ke baaju mein aana chahiye.
Shankar : Sir yes sir-
Chulk : Arey whay you people are doing? Kitni baar bataneka aap logoko ki aisa mat likh karke? This is the way we have taught you? Right now you don't have viva. But external aayega toh what they will think... such a reputed institute and like this is happening...
***
( Chulk just finished handing out last week's test papers to batch 2. The girls always get at least 8/10 while those who actually understand the subject never get more than 7. One wonders why...)
Chulk : That you don't say. You have no right to ask me why you got these many marks and why he got more that many marks.
One look at the girls' journals tells you what Chulk was so uncomfortable to disclose - boxes around all the diagrams, pearly round handwriting with perfect presentation and spacing, complete answers gulped and puked word-to-word and spelling mistake-to-spelling mistake from Techmax.
Paul:NOPE....I dont write in the language you talk....
Ned:Whaaa??
Paul:Trash talk....
Ned:Bitch....give neeeeee....
Paul:hummmmmmmmmmmm.......TE ka....
Ned:Haaan chalega TE MT IE give all.....
lecture is going on.......
chandan and me sitting on the fifth bench
of a row consisting of 10 benches....:i.e first bench....
efffyseaanseee is teaching something which looks like a dart game:velocity diagrams....
today she is just whiling away the time....:notes laana bhoool gayi......
when.....
MSD CALL!!!!!
Paul:Saaaaaallaaaaabhassssskhurrrrrr!!!!
MSD CALL!!!!!
Chandan:Chaaaaaaillaaaa!!!
.....Chinmay-"i get high on:bikes,the eyes,ganne ka juice,CHAI-" Sunil Patil.....has been aroused[all pun intended...].....
Chinmay:CHAAAAIIIIII.........
THUD!!!!!....he returns to whatever "weighing lesser than 60kgs ...riding a harley... with the eyes behind me... holding a glass of chai in 1 hand and ganne ka juice in the other...."dream he was in ......
please let us know if more works of fiction are required ....
