Friday, August 28, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
That's how we do it II !
The body's metabolic rate decreases during sleep thus reducing the rate of breathing. So the amount of O2 consumed and CO2 exhaled is less, which means less greenhouse gases and a cleaner environment.
We, the students of Mech 5 urge you all to try out this simple technique demonstrated above, and do your bit to fight global warming.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
1)
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where
a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the
entrance is a description of how the store operates.
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch .... You may
choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a
floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are
extremely good looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to
the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-
dead good looking and help with the housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she
goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-
dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic
streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the
sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012,890 to this floor. There are no men
on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are
impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
2)
A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy,
> Dear Tech Support ,
>
> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .
>
> In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
> Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1 .
>
> Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system.
>
> Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
>
> What can I do?
>
> Signed,
>
> Desperate Woman
> ************ ********* ********* ******
>
> DEAR DESPERATE Madam,
>
> First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
>
> Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
> If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
>
> However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 , Pornography 7.0 or Beer 6.1 .
>
> Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law
> 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize
> control of all your system resources.)
>
> In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program . These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .
>
> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
> You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
> We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.
>
> Good Luck
> For more details contact to,
> Technical support Guy3)
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects
------------------------------
Husband and wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is the liver and the wife is the kidney.
If the liver fails, the kidney fails.
If the kidney fails ..........
the liver manages with other kidney !!
------------------------------
------------------
What's the difference between
Drug and Wine ?
Drug is like a girlfriend that comes
with an expiry date.
Wine is like a wife,
The older it gets, longer the chatter !
------------------------------
The Japanese have produced a camera
that has such .. such a fast shutter speed that............
it is capable of taking a picture of a woman
with her mouth shut!!!
AND FINALLY ...........................
Generation Next Motto:
Neither will I marry
Nor will I allow my children to marry !!